Rhythm and Rhyme in Picture Book Texts: Build your House!

If you write picture books, you've probably already noticed that rhyming picture books...are tough to sell. Many agents and editors state outright that they simply won't even consider a rhyming text!

The reason isn't because rhyme doesn't work in picture books; it's that it's very difficult to do well.

If you want to write a rhyming text, here's what you need to know:

Consistency.

There needs to be a consistent pattern of meter (stressed and unstressed word pattern), syllable count, rhyme and stanza length for the read-aloud to feel flawless (not "forced").

I call this building a house!

(I need to do what now?!)

No really! The four walls of meter, syllable, rhyme and stanza work together to support the narrative.

Wall 1: Meter

The stressed and unstressed pattern to your words. Examples (bold is stressed):

IAMBIC (x /) : That time of year thou mayst in me behold 

• every other word is stressed, starting with second

TROCHAIC (/ x): Tell me not in mournful numbers

• every other word stressed, starting with first word

ANAPESTIC (x x /): And the sound of a voice that is still

• every third word is stressed

There should be a consistent meter pattern with each line 

Wall 2: Syllable

Working together with a consistent syllable count in each line. Examples (number is syllable, line denotes meter pattern):

IAMBIC PENTAMETER (5 iambs, 10 syllables) 

That time | of year | thou mayst | in me | behold 

 1       2       3   4         5      6         7   8       9   10 

TROCHAIC TETRAMETER (4 trochees, 8 syllables) 

Tell me | not in | mournful | numbers
  1     2      3   4     5        6      7     8 

ANAPESTIC TRIMETER (3 anapests, 9 syllables) 

And the sound | of a voice | that is still
  1     2      3        4  5   6         7    8  9

Tip: syllable count is the first place I turn to look when a rhyming text feels "off"

Wall 3: Rhyme

The above two pieces create the rhythm of your text. You don't have to add rhyme but, if you do, each stanza should have paired words that sound alike. Examples:

Trains are humming, coming near (A)Coupled cars from front to rear. (A)Rumbling, grumbling, screech and squeal (B)Rolling, trolling wheels on steel (B)Trains Don't Sleep by Andria Warmflash Rosenbaum

___________________________________ 

Full fathom five thy father lies; (A)Of his bones are coral made; (B)
Those are pearls that were his eyes; (A)
Nothing of him that does fade, (B)
But doth suffer a sea-change (C)
Into something rich and strange. (C)
The Tempest, Shakespeare 1.2.456

The trick here is to pick a word that feels natural and organic to the unfolding narrative, rather than forced in just to rhyme. This often will require changing up your entire sentence rather than just picking a word that rhymes! Don't just try and make a word fit your existing sentence. This is often what results in a "forced" rhyme.

Tip: work backwards. If you know what word/words might fit your rhyme, start writing different sentences that also fit within your syllable count. Meter will often fall into place with syllable count.

Wall 4: Stanza

Finally, keep the number of lines per stanza consistent. The examples in #3 above are stanzas. Trains is a stanza made up of four lines. Tempest would be a stanza made up of six lines (it's not actually written in stanzas, just, you know, for the stake of example). You may have a text with stanzas of four lines each. You may have a text of stanzas of 3 lines, 2 lines, 3 lines, 2 lines. 

Note: final text placement may break your stanzas up for page-turn & visuals, but it should be presented consistently!

Roof: the idea and narrative connecting it all together

You don't need to use one of the established patterns given as examples above; your text simply needs to be consistent in whatever pattern you do use.

Exercise for you

1. Can you pick out the elements of the house in the examples for #3 above?
2. Take a few of your favorite rhyming picture book texts. Can you pick out the elements?

Here are some online resources to help:

RhymeZone: find words that rhyme listed out by syllable count

SyllableCounter: allows you to paste in your text to count your syllables 

Thinking Visually

In novels, you're constantly told to show not tell. In picture books, this works a little differently, because the show is done as a partnership with the one who tells.

Illustration shows us: emotion, physical characteristics, detail
It is your MAP: what do you see?

Text tells us: context, direction
It is your GUIDE: where are you going?

Let's look at a few examples:

We Don't Eat Our Classmates by Ryan T. Higgins

What can be shown in illustrations that you don’t need to say?

The text has given us the context: Penelope is nervous. She's starting school. It's important to know if they'll be like her (how many teeth will they have)? The illustrations show us: the emotion/what nervous looks like, that she REALLY cares about and loves school and friends, because she's been practicing - she has her own table of dinosaur friends pulled up next to her writing board, implying she's used to being alone/with her pretend friends - it deepens the emotional layers and context that the text provided.

Think back to your MAP and your GUIDE: what do you SEE vs. what are you TOLD

Here's another example:

                                                            Not Quite Narwhal by Jessie Sima

The text tells the illustrator what direction to go in for these pages without telling her HOW to illustrate the pages; we aren't TOLD what his "tusk" being different means - we can see that. We aren't TOLD what it means they have different taste in food - we can see that. We aren't TOLD how he's a bad swimmer - we (very adorably) can see that with the ingenious use of floaties. And what's more, we aren't TOLD that his family loves and protects and accepts him anyway - but we can SEE that in the way they are surrounding him in a circle, soft smiles on encouraging faces.

Art notes should be used sparingly; think short and simple sentences. If you have multiple complex sentences, descriptive elements, have crafted the text so that you can see the image in your mind's eye...pare it back! The role of the author is to inspire the artist, to provide the artist with possibility, while giving direction.

So yes: this means, if you're the text author...you should tell not show!

Other considerations when thinking visually:

Is there room for dynamic illustration? 

Think about scene and perspective; would each potential spread in your story be in the same space? Would they look relatively the same? Is there room for an illustrator to give spot art, full spreads, motion, creative energy, different perspectives - a variety of art? The book needs to be visually stimulating to capture attention; if you haven't left room for dynamic illustration, you've limited the visual possibility.

Does it work in a traditional 32-page picture book?

Use a storyboard (red text mine):

In your text, place spaces between lines to denote potential pages. Is your conflict occurring around pg. 7, your climax around pg. 28? 

Do you have "page-turn"?

Does your text invite the reader to turn the next page? Do you wonder, what comes next? Look at the examples above: you know you've just started this story. You've been given the conflict...what happens next?

You can use punctuation to leave room for page turn, too. For example:

Pete the Cat and His Four Groovy Buttons by James Dean and Eric Litwin 

Mind your P's!

Provide possibility.

Establishing Motivation in Picture Book Biographies

If you've ever heard: but WHY did he do this? What was DRIVING your subject? What INSPIRED her to...

My friend, you are in need of establishing motivation.

Motivation is the heart of your subject's actions. It's a key element that your reader can connect to and be inspired by. It takes a biography from "telling" to "showing."

This doesn't mean you need to psycho-analyze your subject; the reader just needs to see the connection between how your subject grew up to who s/he became and what s/he did. Because the picture book audience is intended for children, typically that is set up through the childhood lens, because it allows the audience to connect on a relatable level.

How or what in your subject's childhood helped him/her solve the problem s/he faces later in life, that led him/her to do the thing (s) you are writing about?

Here are some examples (I linked to these so you can see the previews):

1. Funny Bones by Duncan Tonatiuh

Here, you can see the progression nicely; the author sets up why Posada become a printer & why he was into art, and leads into, why did he start doing political cartoons (you can't see in the preview, but it explains the political atmosphere in Mexico, and how most people couldn't read and write, thus Posada was doing the cartoons to help spread the word and reach people).


2. I Dissent by Debbie Levy  (Author) and Elizabeth Baddeley (Illustrator)

Here, you can see who inspired Ruth (her mother), the atmosphere she grew up in, and how her personality built into who she became.


3. For the Right to Learn by Rebecca Langston-George  (Author) and Janna Bock (Illustrator)

Here again, you can see how Malala developed her love and passion for learning in childhood, and why it was important to her, and when that was threatened to be taken away from her, she fought back.


4. A Picture Book of Martin Luther King, Jr. by David A. Adler  (Author) and Robert Casilla  (Illustrator)

Here you can see where Martin Luther King Jr. got his peaceful side (father was a pastor, attended church) while establishing the turmoil/problem within the atmosphere he lived in, both of which help the reader to understand why he approached the problem the way he did, what the problem was, and why he was passionate about advocating for equal rights.


It isn't so much a matter of picking THE defining moment in your subject's life so much as WHAT about your subject's life led him/her to who he/she became.

Within the span of a few pages and a few hundred words, of course!